Grief and Spirituality

“This world is but a passing dream which the sleeper is convinced is real, until unexpectedly the dawn of death frees him from the fantasy”

Rumi (Sufi Gnostic)

Grief is a normal human condition and I believe that at the time of passing everyone should allow themselves to grieve and there is no right length of time to mourn.

I know for myself that certain things like songs for instance on the radio or aromas will acutely remind me of friends and loved ones who have passed over.

I feel we have to remind ourselves constantly that all our loved ones who have passed to spirit are living their lives on a higher plane and we have to carry on with ours. It helps to consider this:

“Maybe it’s our duty to carry on so we can live the earthly experiences not just for ourselves but for our departed loved ones who can share our earthly joys and events through our connection with them”.

If I’m having a lovely time, I will think of my loved ones and how they would really love this experience and at these times I feel their continuing connection to my life here on earth.

Sometimes when we grieve too much or do not grieve fully, we create a heavy barrier around us and our loved ones find it difficult to break through this.

It is important to go through the grieving process fully, as quickly as possible but because we are all different and deal with grief in different ways, there is no fixed pattern or length of time to the grieving process.

I can only speak from my own experiences and my experience is that having gone through the grieving experience and released so much negativity in the process, one can actually feel closer to those you have lost.

Also, our loved ones who have passed over, do continue to play a part in our lives. The pain and release of negativity through our loss is an important part of our own spiritual growth. For without it we wouldn’t become more compassionate, loving, kind understanding, stronger, more positive, or spiritual in our thinking.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience”.

Teilhard de Chardin

Do our loved ones go to a loving place?

Hell is of our own making, that is as true in spirit as much as it is here on Earth.

God, however you might understand God, is a God of Love and I feel incapable of creating a place of punishment and pain.

Only we are capable of creating hell and for centuries we have done it relentlessly with war, persecution, bigotry, hate and cruelty.

Free will has its obligations and as a species, we are very good at ignoring our obligations at times!

Our spirit ascends according to our earthly endeavours.

After all, the Christian bible says” in my fathers’ house there are many mansions”.

Some may have to start in the basement but it does not mean they cannot by service and endeavour reach the roof eventually!

The great promise is that in passing from this life we encounter the great reunion with everyone we have ever loved who have gone before us. Everything I have experienced over the last 20 years has reinforced this belief for me.

As long as we carry on living the life intended for us, even those out of view are eventually encountered again in the great journey.

When our loved ones pass over, their energy vibration changes to a much higher frequency. We cannot see, hear or feel their presence anymore, although more and more people are becoming sensitive to their presence, as we all raise our own vibrations during the energy changes affecting our planet at this time.

When we also pass over, the same transformation takes place, we are now on similar vibrational levels and our sense of reality and beauty there is more real than it was to us in the physical world.

We can once again enjoy each other’s company except with a much greater understanding of who we really are.

“Death is the greatest lie we are ever told, there is no death”

Colin Fry

Our Loved ones can become a tremendous help to us on the other side if we tune into the ecstatic vibration they are now in (no matter how low a vibration they had in this life, they are “up there” now!).

In grief, sadness, and regret, you will not be able to hear them or feel them as easily when you are here. Death, as most people think of it, doesn’t exist. “Death” is the state so many people live in here on Earth.

Passing over the veil, our loved ones become more alive than they ever were here. No gravity, no negativity, no pain or suffering, no limitations, no heavy body to carry around, Liberation!

No one passes over “by accident”. You must know that when someone has decided to leave the planet, sometimes there is nothing for you to do except honour that and celebrate their life.

If they’re still alive, celebrate it RIGHT NOW! Make them laugh, play with them,
rave about great times past. Life is not measured by length but by quality.

While I know it’s not often your preference, the most amazing heart openings happen when someone dear passes away. After the negativity has gone we return to our natural way of being, a being of Love, with feelings of bliss and peace within us.

By the way: If you ever experience anything less than positive when encountering a deceased one, a bad dream for example or if you ever have a scary metaphysical experience, that is simply your own vibration, mirrored to you.

It’s a pocket of lower vibration inside you, expressing and showing itself.
It’s your own emotions about that subject, reflecting back to you another negative part of yourself to express and get rid of.

Your Loved one would never cause you any distress, proof of their continuation of life is a gift and you will receive it when you are ready to accept it as it is given, with Love.

A Tibetan way of letting go of grief

Buy seven candles Red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue and purple.

Chose the red coloured candle to represent the person who you have lost.

Pick a quiet time and place, light the red candle and look into the flame while talking to the person who you are grieving for and expressing your emotions. Keep talking till you can think of nothing more to say, how you feel, what you miss, how much you love them and so on releasing the pain.

When you have finished talking, crying, expressing yourself, leave the room letting the candle burn its self out. (MAKE SURE THE CANDLE IS IN A SAFE PLACE).

The following week chose the orange candle and do the same ritual, try to do this in the same place at the same time for seven weeks, working your way through the coloured candles in the order shown.

This way of letting go can be repeated as necessary until you feel that you are ready to move on with life.

Death and beyond by Pamela Kribbe channelling Jesus/Yesha.

Dear friends, beloved angels of light, I greet you all. It is from the heart of the Christ energy that I, Jeshua, reach out my hand and extend my greeting to you.

Beloved angel, know that you are cherished. Know that you are loved unconditionally, even now while you reside in a body of flesh and blood, a mortal body. Even while living within the boundaries of this temporary home, you are still unconditionally part of God, the Home for which you long so much.

You have never truly left Home, yet you do not recognize the eternal flame which remains alight forever within your being. Get in touch with that light in this moment, cherish yourself, know who you are. A light burn within you, so beautiful and pure. How come you ever doubted this?

Today we speak about dying. Much fear exists concerning death. Fear of annihilation, fear of oblivion, fear of being swallowed up by the big black hole associated with death. As so often the case in the earthly dimension, you tend to turn things topsy-turvy and present them exactly opposite to the way they actually are. In reality, death is liberation, a homecoming, a remembrance of who you really are.

When death comes, you effortlessly return to your natural state of being. Your consciousness blends with the flame of light which is your true identity. Earthly burdens are lifted from your shoulders. Residing within a physical body imposes limitations on you.

It is true that you chose to dive into this state of limitation because of the possibility of experience it had to offer. Nevertheless, it’s a sensation of bliss to be restored to your natural angelic state. The angel inside you loves to fly and be free, to freely investigate the myriad of worlds which constitute the universe. There is so much to explore and to experience. Once you are born into an earthly body, you more or less lose touch with this angelic freedom and sense of being without limits.

Please join me now, as we go back to the moment just before the dive into your present incarnation. On an inner level, you permitted yourself to commence this earthly life. It was a conscious choice. Perhaps you have forgotten about this, and you occasionally feel doubtful about whether you really want to be here. Yet there has been a moment in which you said “yes”. This was a courageous choice. It is an act of great bravery to temporarily trade your angelic freedom and sense of non-limitation for the adventure of becoming human, of becoming mortal.

That adventure holds a promise that makes it all worthwhile. Feel the “yes!” that once rose from your soul. Remember also being drawn to earth. Feel how you connected to earth reality and feel the moment you descended into the embryo within your mother’s womb. You may notice there is heaviness surrounding planet earth, a certain greyness or thickness.

There is much suffering on earth. Pain, loss, fear, negative thoughts are part of earth’s collective atmosphere. And that is what you, as a freshly incarnating soul, passed through. Your light found itself a way through this darkness and in doing so an unavoidable veil of ignorance fell over your original angelic awareness.

Feel the sadness of that event, and behind it, your courage and bravery. You were determined: “I am going to do it. Once more, I am going to root myself into this earth reality, in order to find my own light, in order to recognize it, to rediscover it, and to pass it on to this world which is so in need of it.”

Yes, it has been a leap into ignorance. Temporarily forgetting who you are, not remembering your unbound state of being is part of being human. You forget that you are safe and free, no matter where you are. Being human, you set out to reclaim that natural sense of freedom and safety. In your quest, you can become ensnared by powers that seem to offer you what you are looking for, but in fact, are making you dependent on something outside of you.

You may lean upon judgments coming from outside yourself, telling you how to behave in order to be loved. These false images of Home, these substitutes, tend to sadden and depress you. Indeed, the journey down from heaven to earth has been a tough one. Death, however, transports you back to the plane of eternal love and safety. It is in dying that you surrender to who you have always been. If you die consciously, if you can accept death and surrender to it, dying becomes a joyous event.

What happens when you die?

Before you die, you pass through a stage of parting and letting go.

It is a phase wherein you say farewell to earthly life, to your loved ones.

This can be difficult, yet at the same time, it offers you the possibility to reflect deeply upon who you are, and what you have learned and accomplished on earth during your lifetime.

In the grief you may sense in letting go of your loved ones, it becomes ever so clear what connects you to them. It is a bond of love which is immortal. This bond is so powerful that it effortlessly passes across the boundary that is death. Love is an inexhaustible source, forever giving rise to new life.

Do not fear to lose your loved ones, for it is in the moment of saying goodbye that the bonds of unconditional love are reinforced and given new life. For it is certain: when you part in love, you will meet again. You will find one another again, effortlessly, because the shortest way to another always remains the way of the heart.

If you have loved ones who passed over, you can be sure that they are near to you at the level of the heart. Feel their presence, for they are here among us, extending their greeting to you. They feel privileged and free. They are free from the doubt which plagues so many on earth and they yearn to share with you the love and kindness which is available to you at all times.

Those who remain behind often associate the phase prior to their loved ones dying with feelings of sadness and loss. It is natural to grieve the departure of a loved one; it is natural to miss and yearn for the loved one’s physical presence. However, we encourage you to try and feel that with their departure a gate toward a new dimension is opened, a dimension where communication is of a nature so pure, clear and direct that it rises above the methods for communication commonly used on earth.

You can have direct communication with a loved one after they die, from your heart to their heart. This way, misconceptions which used to stand between you can easily be cleared, once you honestly and openly communicate with the other. Your message will be received, always.

Once you yourself have died, you will view people who are living on earth from a different perspective. You will be more tolerant, mild and you will find yourself with an increased sense of wisdom. You will not be completely balanced all at once because there are emotions and feelings that you take with you and which need to be dealt with.

You will not be perfect or omniscient once you let go of physical life. And that’s not so bad really, for there is still so much to experience and discover on this side! Yet, in most of you, there is a new perspective. The dimension of eternity is tangible and this respectfully mitigates your view of what occupied you and the people directly around you during your stay on earth.

Now, what happens to you once you pass the boundary of death?

Once you have gone through the mourning stage, the stage of saying farewell, you will start to feel death drawing closer.

The focus of your consciousness now changes. Letting go of the outside world, the people, your body, it will now turn within and move deeper inside of you.

Your awareness of the outside world diminishes and this allows you to prepare for the inner journey you are about to embark on. If you consciously accept death, you will experience a “getting ready”, a readiness to truly let go. For your loved ones, this is the moment to let you go, for you need all your strength to turn within and prepare yourself.

Dying need not be a painful process. What actually takes place is of a grand and majestic nature. Dying is a holy event wherein the soul connects with itself in a most intimate manner. During the final stage, the dying person senses the earthly dimension in a detached way: the body, the scents, colours, and other physical sensations.

Another dimension is entering their awareness, with a radiance so promising and inviting, that it is not so hard anymore to surrender and leave all things earthly behind. Even the presence of your loved ones will not stop you from going now. The energy of Home – God, heaven or whatever you want to call it – is so overwhelmingly kind, warm and reassuring that it becomes easy to let go and return your tired and worn-out body to the earth.

Once you let go in peace, your soul will rise up from your body gently and fluidly. You will feel supported by universal forces of wisdom and love. If you die without resistance, your immediate surroundings will be filled with warm and loving energy. You will experience an unspeakable sense of relief. You are free, and everything becomes clear. You remember the omnipresence of Love, not as an abstract idea but as a palpable reality.

While on earth, you called this kind of love “God”, and you kept a biased, human image of what this God “wanted from you”. You were convinced that there were certain demands made by this God, demands to which you usually did not comply. But here in this dimension, you recall what God’s will truly is: to ensoul you, to inspire you, to experience creation through you and to finally recognize Itself in your countenance. God wanted to become human through you. The goal of the universe’s evolution is YOU: God become human!

God is the source of creation, and you are its fulfilment. You, who have given the light of God human form, are never judged for being human.

Instead, you are honoured. The idea of a vengeful God is yet another perversion, a reversal of truth instigated by fear. God recognizes Itself in you, regardless of what you do or don’t do. When you are back on this side, you become aware of this again, and a truckload of self-judgment and feelings of inferiority will slide off your shoulders. You will feel the original joy of living again, safe in God’s hand.

Soon after your arrival here, you will perceive light beings around you.

There will be guides to assist you and people you knew who passed over before you.

Sometimes it will surprise you who you will run into over there:

people whom you met only briefly, but who touched your heart deeply, maybe there alongside lifelong friends and relatives.

Anyone, you had a connection with based in love, will come to greet you at some point. Once again, it becomes so clear to you that saying farewell is but an illusion, that the heart-connection is eternal. You will experience a sense of thankfulness and of awe, as you enter this plane of unconditional love and wisdom.

After you arrive on this side, there is a phase of adjustment, in which you get used to your new environment and slowly release your attachment to earth life. You will need to acclimatize. There will be guides to support you who are specialized in this. You will still have a body yet it will feel more fluid than the physical body you were used to.

Most likely it will take on the appearance of your most recent physical body. Although there is freedom to take on any appearance that you desire, most people appreciate some continuity for a while. You are also free to create your own living conditions, for instance, a beautiful house with a lovely garden, in a natural environment you were fond of while on earth.

It is quite all right to live out your earthly fantasies on this plane, which I refer to as the astral plane.

This is a dimension or realm of being which allows for much creative freedom, although it still resembles and is closely connected to the dimension of physical earth.

Some people have had difficulty accepting death on earth and their transition to the other side may have been less peaceful. They usually need more time to adapt to their new life circumstances. Sometimes it takes a while before they truly realize that they have passed on. Some people have suffered a long-term illness and find it hard to shake the idea of being ill. They cannot fully believe they are healthy again, and it often takes the patient and gentle support of a spiritual guide to help them release their old body.

The old body can stick to the soul, purely as a concept, as a thought-form. The same goes for emotional habits and patterns of behaviour. They can repeat themselves on the astral plane until the soul discovers its freedom, its power to let go and open up to something new.

Another possibility is that a soul remains attached to the earth realm, to loved ones in particular, because they died suddenly or very young. This can happen in the case of accidents, disasters, or when the person was in the prime of life. These are situations in which a particular soul did not feel ready or prepared to make the departure.

Dying in those cases is more or less traumatic. There is loving support on this side for these traumatized souls, as there always is. Sooner or later the soul will reach a state of acceptance and understanding of the situation. There is always a viable reason for what seems to be a premature departure from the earth plane. Dying is never a coincidence.

As your stay on the other side extends, your spirit expands into wider and deeper levels of awareness.

More and more will you let go of the ways of thinking and feeling you were used to on earth.

Essentially, you gradually go back to the core of who you are, your soul, the divine spark within.

The more you enter – or return – to that state of consciousness, the more you detach yourself from your earthly personality and the dimension of earth. You will sense a flow of being which reaches beyond that aspect of you. You will get in touch with other lifetimes you spent on earth, incarnations wherein you embodied other aspects of your soul. You become aware of the boundless space that is your soul and the many experiences you have gathered on your journey through the universe.

When people on earth connect to you now, they will sense a person who has gained in wisdom and spiritual love. In fact, as you are moving closer to the core of your soul, you are leaving the astral plane and entering what I call the essential plane, the realm of Essence. Most people stay on the astral plane for quite a while after they have died. They look back on their life on earth and reflect on all the experiences they have gone through.

In the astral realm, you can experience both joy and sadness, both positive and negative emotions. Your surroundings mirror your inner psychological reality. The emotions you have to come to terms with, take on the form of colours, landscapes and encounters. You often visit the astral realm in your dreams, so you are familiar with this field of awareness. In your esoteric literature, when they speak of many layers or spheres in the afterlife, ranging from dark to light, it is the astral plane that is referred to.

On the astral plane, you get a chance to sort out the emotional luggage you’ve brought along from your recent life on earth. In this, you are assisted by several loving guides. At some point, you will let go of all your attachments and emotional pain, and you’re ready to move beyond the astral plane altogether.

That’s when you pass on to the plane of essence. When this happens, it is like a second death. You leave behind anything that does not truly belong to you and allow yourself to merge with the greater You, your divine core. The moment you pass on to the essential plane, you will be aware of the immense power that moves you. You will experience your oneness with God.

The plane of essence, the plane of the eternal You, is the seat of the divine consciousness from which all creation originates.

I ask you to take a moment to connect to this plane, here and now.

It is not far away. It permeates everything, both the astral plane and the earth plane; it permeates the entire cosmos.

The presence you sense here is the presence of God, pure and untainted. It may be sensed as a deep silence, completely peaceful yet brimming with life and creativity. From this source springs all of the creation and to this source it shall return.

When you reach the essential plane in an afterlife, you will be able to make conscious choices regarding your future destination. On this plane, you may arrange, with the help of teachers and guides, another incarnation on earth, or plan a different journey, dependent on your goals. You can clearly hear the voice of your soul on the essential plane. It is from this plane that you once said “yes” to the life in which you now find yourself.

Take a moment to remember what it felt like to be on this plane. The more you become aware of this dimension during your life on earth, the easier it will be to die peacefully and after your death, to move beyond the astral plane into the plane of essence.

Death is nothing more than a transition, one of the many transitions you go through in life. Birth is a transition. Life on earth knows so many moments of transition, of passing through and letting go. Just think of it. The body you now reside in has at one time been very small, a vulnerable little baby. And yet your soul, the divine essence inside you, was already working through you when you were that vulnerable little baby.

When you reached maturity, many of you got swallowed up by the demands which life on earth made on you and you were confronted by fears and doubts. The awareness of your divine core, your soul, got pushed to the background. However, there arrived moments in your life when the dimension of divine awareness opened up again. This often happened at moments during which you had to let go when you had to say farewell.

Maybe it was saying farewell to a loved one, perhaps letting go of a job; any conceivable scenario. Such events are transitions which resemble dying, not in a literal sense but on a psychological level. You are being asked to let go on a deep level and it is exactly during those moments of letting go that you can start to feel the reality of your eternal Self, the divine light that burns inside you.

This reality remains with you unconditionally, even when everything around you falls away. And so, it is when it comes to physically dying. If at that moment you are courageous enough to let go, the plane of the eternal will embrace you and you will experience a very strong awareness of who you really are.

Dying in conscious surrender is a holy event, filled with life and beauty. The majesty of what is enfolding will be tangible for those present. The more the ones who are present have experienced “dying while being alive”, the more they will be filled with awe and reverence about the transition they are witnessing.

With regard to all the transitions available in creation, ranging from physical birth and death to moments of intense emotional detachment during your life, the pivotal question ever remains not whether you will survive, but whether you are able to retain the connection with your own divine core. Can you stay in touch with the plane of Essence, your origins, Creation’s heartbeat?

Connecting with the essential plane often during your life is the best way of preparing yourself for death and for what lies beyond. By becoming aware now – prior to physical death – that the very core of who you are does not depend on the current physical body you reside in, nor on the identity which you assume in the world, do you set yourself free to smoothly make the transition once the moment arrives.

Connecting with the essential plane is a choice you make. Dying in itself won’t get you any closer to it. After dying, you will very much be the same person as you are now, albeit endowed with different possibilities and given a wider perspective. Yet the crucial question ever remains: do you remember yourself? Are you able to consciously connect with that dimension of timelessness which flows through you and which truly inspires you?

You are un-perishable, dearly beloved angels of Light. Take faith in this. Let yourself be comforted and supported by this knowledge when your hour of death arrives; and now also, while you struggle with the issues of your life.

In order to die peacefully, you are asked to detach yourself on the inner level from anything that ties you to earthly existence. Practice this detachment continually while you are living, and you will be prepared to die.

You may ask: “Isn’t it tragic to detach yourself from life, while you are standing in the middle of it?” The answer is: “No. Instead, it is testament to a truly powerful spirit.”

What does detachment mean? It means that you pay attention to essence, that you do not get caught up in non-essential matters. It means you do not create unnecessary emotional drama; it means you experience joy in the simple things of life.

To practice detachment and stay tuned into the plane of essence entails being aware of a hidden dimension, which lies directly underneath and behind the observable.

It means to renounce quick judgment in terms of good and bad, and to trust a cosmic intelligence which far by exceeds the human mind.

Many of you are trapped in a thinking fever. You feverishly consider life; how to solve problems, how to accomplish all the things you think you need to do.

You are very fixed on organizing life through your will and your mind. Detachment means you take this thinking aspect of yourself less seriously. Is this a tragic thing to do? No. Instead, it brings light and airiness to your life. It is by your excessive urge for control that life becomes a struggle, tiring and heavy. Detachment brings peace of mind, humour and thoughtfulness.

Being aware of the finiteness of life inspires the natural desire to cherish life. And it is there where your divine core can effortlessly flow through you, from the essential plane to your earthly reality. Once that happens, you will have conquered death before you have died.



Copyright © Pamela Kribbe – Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this article on the condition that the URL  is included as the resource and that it is distributed freely. E-mail: [email protected]