The Role of Forgiveness

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Unforgiveness toward another person, toward God or toward one’s self is the most common root of physical illness.

There can be no form of suffering that fails to hide an unforgiving thought. Nor can there be a form of pain forgiveness cannot heal.

To live in the true self-state fully, we’ve got to be free of ego judgements. The true self is our natural state and we need not add anything to ourselves to get there. We must instead, subtract all ego thoughts about being separate from others and from God.

If you believe even one person is bad or sinful, you then see yourself as separated from others. That puts you in your ego and your true self-state of joy and good health becomes blocked.

The ego rejoices at seeing badness in another person. This judgement makes the ego feel superior or special, which instantly affirms a sense of separation between one’s self, others and God.

Usually, what irritates us about another person is a characteristic that we don’t like in our own selves. In these instances, we are healed when we forgive the other person and forgive ourselves.

Complete forgiveness of one’s self and the world is the route to releasing any remaining ego blocks that stand between the person and the life they truly desire.

Spiritual intervention helps Healers to assist their clients in identifying and releasing stubborn unforgiveness. When a person can identify and detach an unforgiving thought they are literally removing a life draining vampire.

When a person releases unforgiveness, they regain the peace and health of their true self-state. Sickness and injury occur when the ego believes it is separate and feels guilty about the attacks it has made.

This guilt leads to the fear of retaliation. The ego believes that by hurting itself first, it avoids punishment from outside sources. Sickness and accidents are the egos favourite ways of punishing itself, in the insane belief that if I hurt bad enough, I’ll escape the further pain.

“Everyone needs to be loved… Especially when you might think they do not deserve it”

Forgiveness and the release from problems depend on willingness, not on time. Yet, it may take a person a long time to become willing to forgive. They may even say “why should I be the one to forgive, the situation wasn’t my fault!”.

Usually, this form of protest requires the Healer to explain the difference between “approval and forgiveness”. The person needn’t condone someone’s abusive behaviour.

They simply need to forgive the person, not the behaviour, to release themselves from the imprisonment of the ego.

“He who cannot forgive others destroys the bridge over which he himself must pass.”

George Herbert

Forgiveness also doesn’t mean, “I judge your behaviour as unsuitable but because I am an enlightened person, I will choose to overlook it”.

Forgiveness heals when all judgements connected to the entire situation are released and replaced with Love.

At that point, the true self-state is experienced. Complexity is the ego and is nothing more than the egos attempt to obscure the obvious. The ego wants us to believe that we and our problems are complex and special to amplify the belief of separation.

The ego wants an exotic diagnosis and then a highly complex treatment program. It wants soap opera drama and endless series of problems, not solutions. Fortunately, all forgiveness needs is a tiny instant of willingness and that’s enough of an opening to invoke healing.

Sometimes, people are afraid to forgive because they believe that forgiveness is equivalent to saying “I was wrong and you were right”. If they admit to being wrong then retaliation and punishment must follow, they worry.

In forgiving, we erase the past, our forgiveness of ourselves and all persons connected to the error in the past, undo and erases the past. The reason is this, the event in the past was a product of the ego.

“When you plan to get even with someone, you’re only letting that person continue to hurt you”

Andy Rooney

We know this because it was not centred in Love. Therefore, the past error was based on errors in thinking, which in turn led to hurt feelings or anger. Thus, an error was the cause of emotional pain.

If you remove the cause, the effect also disappears. Forgiveness removes the cause of painful emotions, ego. Without their cause, painful emotions cannot sustain themselves. Hard feelings then soften and rapidly heal until they fade into distant memory.

Studies show that when we forgive ourselves or other people, the people involved in the incident often exhibit a form of mass amnesia. They are often unable to recall a single detail about the forgiven event.

If we truly forgive ourselves for our past unhealthy behaviours such as abusing alcohol, drugs, food, cigarettes or sex etc, we can undo their bodily effects as if they had never occurred.

As-Sabur The Patient, The Timeless,

In the tradition of Islam, there are 99 names for God, each expressing a unique quality of the One; a quality that each of us embodies and can call out at any moment to be expressed in our lives and for each other.

“We should pray and ask Allah by His name, As-Sabur, for this quality and ask to be steadfast, slow to anger, quick to forgive. Seek refuge in ‘As-Sabur’ from anger, hostilities, criticism and jealousy both toward and from others.”

Shiek Yusuf Estes

“Being kind is more important than being right”

Andy Rooney

Here is an exercise to aid forgiveness of a person who has wronged you:

The Light Bubble

Close your eyes and take several deep relaxing breaths.

See or feel the person you are trying to forgive, standing in front of you.
When you have a clear picture or feeling of this person, it gives an indication that there is a window of willingness to forgive. That little window is all that is needed for a miracle!

Now, look or feel inside that image of the person and notice a little spark of white light jump into their middle, just like the pilot light of a furnace.
When you have this image, make the light grow mentally, all you need to do is ask the light to grow, notice it growing? Good!

Now keep expanding the light until it fills the person completely, if you see any darkness in that person, please ask the light to cleanse it away. When you have completely filled the person with light, have the light expand out of the person’s body and extend it like an aura.

When you can see or feel this, see yourself standing next to this person then step into the light emanating from the other person. See yourself bathed in white light with the other person. Notice how the white light grows so bright that you can no longer see any division between the two of you.

Feel and see the boundaries between both of you blur and disappear. See the white light growing larger and larger like a large and loving cloud. You can ask this cloud of healing Love to expand, even more, seeing it cover the whole room, then the entire city, then the entire country and the continent and the entire world.

Feel the Love encircling the world, knowing that you and the other person are one with everyone, with the world and with each other.

This exercise always evokes miraculous coincidences involving the people we forgive. Since we are all joined as one mind in our true selves, other people can feel you release grudges against them. The taut lines of resentment are snapped at the moment of forgiveness.

It’s palpable! they may not know why but the thought of you passes through the mind of the person your forgiving. First, it’s a neutral thought, then it’s a thought softened by Love. They have simultaneously just forgiven you, although they have no idea why.


Other people automatically treat us differently because we simultaneously release them from resentments during this Healing.

Their true selves communicate with our true selves across all distance and time.

Regardless of their personality, their geographical location and whether they are alive or dead, their soul responds to our forgiveness. You are probably aware that you behave differently when you’re with certain people.

Everyone is this way, you are responding to the way people think about you. If they are judgemental, you act one way if they are open and kind, you act another way.

These people hold certain expectations about how you will act and behave and to a large extent that expectation is self-fulfilled. Also, the other people will only notice the parts of your behaviour that conform to their expectations.

Other people respond to your judgements in the same way. Your thoughts are the cause and their behaviour is the effect. If you think about other people from your ego, you evoke negative behaviour from them. If through the miracle of forgiveness you view those people with eyes of Love, their behaviour will shine.

Have you ever spent time with a person who admired or Loved you? Didn’t you feel more comfortable around this person, compared to being with a critical person?

When you forgive your boss, spouse, co-worker, mother, father, sister, brother, those people will radiate to a new point of view. They will change because their viewpoint has changed from the egos videotape to the true self’s videotape.

Forgiveness saves us so much time!

“In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices.

Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them.

Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.”

Beverly Flanigan

Neale Donald Walsch

The Little Soul and the Sun ~ A Children’s Parable

 Once upon no time, there was a little Soul who said to God, “I know who I am.”
And God said, “That’s wonderful! Who are you?”
And the Little Soul shouted, “I’m the Light!”
God smiled a big smile. “That’s right!” God exclaimed. “You are the Light.”

The Little Soul was so happy, for it had figured out what all the souls in the Kingdom were there to figure out.
“Wow,” said the Little Soul, “this is really cool!”

But soon, knowing who it was, was not enough. The Little Soul felt stirrings inside and now wanted to be who it was. So, the Little Soul went back to God (which is not a bad idea for all souls who want to be Who They Really Are) and said,

“Hi, God! Now that I know Who I am, is it okay for me to be it?”
And God said, “You mean you want to be Who You Already Are?”
“Well,” replied the Little Soul,” it’s one thing to know Who I Am, and another thing altogether to actually be it. I want to feel what it’s like to be the Light!”

“But you already are the Light,” God repeated, smiling again.
“Yes, but I want to see what that feels like!” cried the Little Soul.
“Well,” said God with a chuckle, “I suppose I should have known. You always were the adventuresome one.”

Then God’s expression changed. “There’s only one thing…”
“What?” asked the Little Soul.
“Well, there is nothing else but the Light. You see, I created nothing but what you are; and so, there is no easy way for you to experience yourself as Who You Are since there is nothing that you are not.”

“Huh?” said the Little Soul, who was now a little confused.

 “Think of it this way,” said God. “You are like a candle in the Sun. Oh, you’re there all right.

Along with a million, gazillion other candles who make up the Sun. And the sun would not be the Sun without you.

Nay, it would be a sun without one of its candles…and that would not be the Sun at all; for it would not shine as brightly.

Yet, how to know yourself as the Light when you are amidst the Light -that is the question.”

“Well,” the Little Soul perked up, “you’re God. Think of something!”

Once more God smiled. “I already have,” God said. “Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we’ll surround you with darkness.”

“What’s darkness?” the Little Soul asked.

God replied, “It is that which you are not.”

“Will I be afraid of the dark?” cried the Little Soul.

“Only if you choose to be,” God answered. “There is nothing, really, to be afraid of, unless you decide that there is. You see, we are making it all up. We are pretending.”

“Oh,” said the Little Soul, and felt better already.

Then God explained that, in order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear. “It is a great gift,” God said, “because, without it, you could not know what anything is like. You could not know Warm without Cold, Up without Down, Fast without Slow. You could not know Left without Right, Here without There, Now without Then.”

“And so,” God concluded, “when you are surrounded by darkness, do not shake your fist and raise your voice and curse the darkness. Rather be a Light unto the darkness, and don’t be mad about it. Then you will know Who You Really Are, and all others will know, too. Let your Light shine so that everyone will know how special you are!”

“You mean it’s okay to let others see how special I am?” asked the Little Soul.

“Of course!” God chuckled. “It’s very okay! But remember, ‘special’ does not mean ‘better.’ Everybody is special, each in their own way! Yet many others have forgotten that. They will see that it is okay for them to be special only when you see that it is okay for you to be special.”

“Wow,” said the Little Soul, dancing and skipping and laughing and jumping with joy. “I can be as special as I want to be!”

“Yes, and you can start right now,” said God, who was dancing and skipping and laughing right along with the Little Soul.

“What part of special do you want to be?”

“What part of special?” the Little Soul repeated. “I don’t understand.”

“Well,” God explained, “being the Light is being special, and being special has a lot of parts to it. It is special to be kind. It is special to be gentle. It is special to be creative. It is special to be patient. Can you think of any other ways it is special to be?”

The Little Soul sat quietly for a moment. “I can think of lots of ways to be special!” the Little Soul then exclaimed. “It is special to be helpful. It is special to be sharing. It is special to be friendly. It is special to be considerate of others!”

“Yes!” God agreed, “and you can be all of those things, or any part of special you wish to be, at any moment. That’s what it means to be the Light.”

“I know what I want to be, I know what I want to be!” the Little Soul announced with great excitement. “I want to be the part of special called ‘forgiving’. Isn’t it special to be forgiving?”

“Oh, yes,” God assured the Little Soul. “That is very special.”

“Okay,” said the Little Soul. “That’s what I want to be. I want to be forgiving. I want to experience myself as that.”

“Good,” said God, “but there’s one thing you should know.”

The Little Soul was becoming a bit impatient now. It always seemed as though there was some complication.

“What is it?” the Little Soul sighed.

“There is no one to forgive.”

“No one?” The Little Soul could hardly believe what had been said.

“No one!” God repeated. “Everything I have made is perfect. There is not a single soul in all creation less perfect than you. Look around you.”

It was then that the Little Soul realised a large crowd had gathered. Souls had come from far and wide ~ from all over the Kingdom ~ for the word had gone forth that the Little Soul was having this extraordinary conversation with God, and everyone wanted to hear what they were saying.

 Looking at the countless other souls gathered there, the Little Soul had to agree. None appeared less wonderful, less magnificent, or less perfect than the Little Soul itself.

Such was the wonder of the souls gathered around, and so bright was their Light, that the Little Soul could scarcely gaze upon them.

“Who, then, to forgive?” asked God. “Boy, this is going to be no fun at all!” grumbled the Little Soul.

“I wanted to experience myself as One Who Forgives. I wanted to know what that part of special felt like.” And the Little Soul learned what it must feel like to be sad. But just then a Friendly Soul stepped forward from the crowd.

“Not to worry, Little Soul,” the Friendly Soul said, “I will help you.”
“You will?” the Little Soul brightened. “But what can you do?”

“Why, I can give you someone to forgive!”
“You can?”
“Certainly!” chirped the Friendly Soul. “I can come into your next lifetime and do something for you to forgive.”

“But why? Why would you do that?” the Little Soul asked. “You, who are a Being of such utter perfection! You, who vibrate with such a speed that it creates a Light so bright that I can hardly gaze upon you!

What could cause you to want to slow down your vibration to such a speed that your bright Light would become dark and dense? What could cause you ~ who are so light that you dance upon the stars and move through the Kingdom with the speed of your thought–to come into my life and make yourself so heavy that you could do this bad thing?”

“Simple,” the Friendly Soul said. “I would do it because I love you.”
The Little Soul seemed surprised at the answer.

“Don’t be so amazed,” said the Friendly Soul, “you have done the same thing for me. Don’t you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and I, many times. Through the aeons and across all the ages have we danced. Across all time and in many places have we played together. You just don’t remember.”

“We have both been All of It. We have been the Up and the Down of it, the Left and the Right of it. We have been the Here and the There of it, the Now and the Then of it. We have been the male and the female, the good and the bad; we have both been the victim and the villain of it.”

“Thus, have we come together, you and I, many times before; each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to Express and to Experience Who We Really Are. And so,” the Friendly Soul explained further, “I will come into your next lifetime and be the ‘bad one’ this time. I will do something really terrible, and then you can experience yourself as the One Who Forgives.

“But what will you do?” the Little Soul asked, just a little nervously, “that will be so terrible?”
“Oh,” replied the Friendly Soul with a twinkle, “we’ll think of something.”

Then the Friendly Soul seemed to turn serious, and said in a quiet voice, “You are right about one thing, you know.”
“What is that?” the Little Soul wanted to know.

“I will have to slow down my vibration and become very heavy to do this not-so-nice thing. I will have to pretend to be something very unlike myself. And so, I have but one favour to ask you in return.”

“Oh, anything, anything!” cried the Little Soul, and began to dance and sing, “I get to be forgiving, I get to be forgiving!”
Then the Little Soul saw that the Friendly Soul was remaining very quiet.

“What is it?” the Little Soul asked. “What can I do for you? You are such an angel to be willing to do this for me!”
“Of course this Friendly Soul is an angel!” God interrupted. “Everyone is! Always remember: I have sent you nothing but angels.”

And so, the Little Soul wanted more than ever to grant the Friendly Soul’s request. “What can I do for you?” the Little Soul asked again.

“In the moment that I strike you and smite you,” the Friendly Soul replied, “in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could possibly imagine ~ in that very moment…”

“Yes?” the Little Soul interrupted, “yes…?” “Remember Who I Really Am.”
“Oh, I will!” cried the Little Soul, “I promise! I will always remember you as I see you right here, right now!”

“Good,” said the Friendly Soul, “because, you see, I will have been pretending so hard, I will have forgotten myself. And if you do not remember me as I really am, I may not be able to remember for a very long time. And if I forget Who I Am, you may even forget Who You Are, and we will both be lost. Then we will need another soul to come along and remind us both of Who We Are.”

“No, we won’t!” the Little Soul promised again. “I will remember you! And I will thank you for bringing me this gift ~ the chance to experience myself as Who I Am.

” And so, the agreement was made. And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness.

And the Little Soul waited anxiously to be able to experience itself as Forgiveness and to thank whatever other soul made it possible. And at all the moments in that new lifetime, whenever a new soul appeared on the scene, whether that new soul brought joy or sadness–and especially if it brought sadness–the Little Soul thought of what God had said.

“Always remember,” God had smiled, “I have sent you nothing but angels.”


by Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God